Recently I had the opportunity to go to a cabaret show.
The show itself was pretty good, definitely an entertaining evening overall.
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Well I do. I think it’s absolute shit.
When I was in my early teens I’d go to slumber parties where that movie would be put on and all the girls would throw on feather boas and prance around to the music. Except for me. I was envisioning strangling myself with one of those feather boas. I was looking for something sharp to destroy my eyes and ear drums.
Seriously…WORST MOVIE EVER.
Anyway…at the cabaret show they did two songs from that dastardly musical, back to back, and all the women in the audience, which were about 90% of the people there as it was mostly bachelorette parties (hen parties they call ’em here), were singing “Let’s do the time warp agaaaaiiiin!” and dancing….I forgot there were actual dance moves to that song.
And one of the women I was with looked at me sitting in my chair with everyone around me dancing and she walked over and said, “C’mon Leah, get up and dance. Have some fun!” and I just smiled and said “I’m good!” but really I was thinking, IF YOU TRY TO PULL ME OUT OF THIS CHAIR I WILL BITE YOUR FREAKIN’ FINGERS OFF.
After the second song ended, one of the ladies at my table asked me, “Have you ever seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?” and I said, “Yes. I hate it. I’m one of the only women I know in her 30’s who thinks that movie is crap.”
She said, “Oh, you just haven’t watched it with the right people. You have to watch it with fun people!”
And then she gasped a little and it looked like a light bulb flicked on over her head and she looked at the woman sitting next to her who was listening to our conversation and said, “Hey! We should have a Rocky Horror Picture Show-ing for Leah!”
And the other woman said, “Yeah, we’ll get you to love that movie.”
They have somehow figured out what the THE WORST POSSIBLE THING they could ever do to me is.
I added my own personal touch to this picture to reflect my feelings.
I’ve started doing yoga in the early mornings again. I used to be so good at yoga. Sometimes I was the one that the teacher used as an example of how to do the pose correctly. I had great balance and great posture.
Really, I was amazing. *pats self on back*.
Now I can barely hold one foot an inch off the ground without tottering all over the place. And I’m no where near as stretchy or bendy as I was just two years ago.
My new fitness goal is to get through a whole yoga video without swearing and yelling at the yogi girl.
It’s a bit more difficult than you might think.
I’m super picky about what yoga videos I’ll watch. If you have on big earrings and tons of makeup and your boobies are falling out of your top, then I’m not gonna watch your video. If you talk too much about sending out peace and love and massaging your chakras, I’m not gonna watch your video. If your voice is annoying….if there’s too much clutter around you….. Yes, I am OVERLY picky, I know it.
Anyway, I found a woman whose videos I really like, and she has a ton of them. Here name is Adrienne and she just so happens to be from Austin. She’s not annoying, she sometimes makes inappropriate comments or wordplay and then laughs at herself, and she’s got a border collie who usually sits off somewhere in the background and once in a while comes up and sits right on her when she’s in the middle of a pose. I find it highly amusing.
She seems like a nice person and she doesn’t deserve my verbal abuse which is why I think my fitness goal is a good one.
The other morning I was in a pose where I was just sitting on my bum with my legs pulled up to my chest and my knees resting on my forehead. I was rocking back and forth as were the instructions and Adrienne kept saying, “Just take deep breaths and enjoy being in your private love cave.” And it was making me giggle. I now have a new phrase.
Oh yeah….for those of you who haven’t seen it, here’s my new tattoo.
I’m pretty happy with it.
And yes, it hurt a ton. After the first hour my skin started to go numb and it didn’t hurt too much. But by the third hour my skin was so raw and sensitive that I wanted to cry.
I can’t wait to get my next one.
Oh, and you want to know some good advice? Don’t ever ask your tattoo artist if anyone has ever been in so much pain that they instinctively hit them. It just makes the tattoo artist a bit nervous. And it also makes them think that you’re a weird person.
I wasn’t asking for myself. I was just curious if it had ever happened, that’s all.
It would be kind of a stupid thing to do, hitting the person tattooing you, because it’d probably ruin the tattoo. But at the same time, you’d get to say, “Oh, that there? That’s where I punched out the tattoo artist.” Which I think would sound super tough.
Anyway…my knee has been a real pain in the ass today. So I’m gonna go lie on the couch and elevate it and put some ice on it. I actually had to leave work today because I was in so much pain so I’m trying to take care of it tonight so I won’t be such a wimp about it tomorrow.
Seven more days ’til Tom and I go Stateside!!!