It’s Halloween and I forgot. Well, that’s not exactly true. I didn’t forget that it’s Halloween…how could I? I spend all day with 30+ preschoolers who are uber-excited about dressing up and going trick-or-treating.
What I forgot was to buy candy.
I used to go to my uncle and aunt’s house in Austin on Halloween. My uncle always went to town with mechanized coffins that popped open with skeletons rising out of them, giant spiders that moved…the works. And we’d sit and drink and scare the random band of children that showed up. There were never that many.
And I guess I thought it would be that way here too.
I was wrong.
There are huge groups of loud children and teenagers (they sound like teenagers) roaming around on the streets. I didn’t think about it until I went outside to throw away a bag of trash on the side of the house and heard a large herd of people walk up the driveway and bang on the door. I didn’t want to walk up to them and have to tell them that I was that horrible person on the street that didn’t buy candy for them. So you know what I did? I crouched down and hid behind the garbage can. Seriously. Because if I stayed standing all they would have to do was glance over the car and see me standing there and things would just get weird and awkward.
More weird and awkward than me hiding behind a garbage can.
And they stood there for a while discussing how it didn’t look there was anyone inside. Our front door is a sliding glass door so it’s super easy to see in our house. After they left I slowly stood up, peeked around the corner to make sure there were no more costumed hooligans heading up to the house, and then I quickly raced inside, locked the door, and pulled down the shades.
So now I’m pretty much just hiding.
With Tom gone, since I am such a wimp and a weirdo (in case you didn’t already gather that from the last little bit of writing), I always lock the bedroom door before I go to sleep. The other night I had this dream…one of those really realistic dreams where you actually don’t know that you’re not awake. In my dream the alarm went off for work and I woke up, turned on the light, put on my robe and opened the bedroom door. The light from the bedroom beamed out into the dark living room and illuminated a piece of paper on the floor in front of the bedroom door.
The paper had a hand-written note on it in thick black marker that read:
I immediately woke up and lay there in bed and my heart was pounding a bit and I had to think for a moment as to whether or not that had actually happened. But then I looked at my phone and it was just past 5am. My alarm hadn’t even gone off yet which is the only way my sleep-clouded brain was able to figure out that what had just happened was only a dream.
I should probably stop watching American Horror Story right before I go to sleep.
I’m gonna go make sweet and sour tofu now. I cannot listen to music or watch Jeopardy because god forbid any of those trick-or-treaters know a candy-less Halloween-pooper is hiding in the house.